Sunday, March 20, 2016

SOL 20: An Open Letter to the Person Trying out my Identity; Some Thoughts and Advice.

This post is part of the 9th Annual Slice of Life Writing Challenge.  Thanks to Two Writing Teachers for their hospitality and support!  Join Us!

9th Annual Slice of Life Story Challenge Invite

Dear Would Be Identity Thief,

Ugh.  You nearly ruined my Friday Afternoon.  The one I was enjoying on Spring Break. When I opened up that credit card, the one You applied for in My Name, I let out a big string of swear words.  My first reaction was a big dose of Anger and Frustration.  I am sassy, strong willed, and lots of other things, but I usually don't get Angry like this.  Because of that anger, I was able to stay up late into the night and see my Panthers beat Texas.  So I guess I should say Thank you?

Then I got to work cutting off your efforts at the knees.

Close that account?  Check.
Call the police?  Check.  (You know, they really have more important things to be doing...)
Credit Bureaus called, my accounts flagged?  Check.
Credit reports printed and studied?  Check.  Check.
Taxes frantically filed and accepted?  Check.  Check.  This could have been a celebration yesterday, but we were waiting for the email that said the taxes were actually processed.

Now that I've researched and worked on shutting this down, and I think we've cut it off; my thoughts and attention have turned to you.

Of course my biggest thought is Why?  Why My Name?  Address?  What do you need?  Is this a solution for you?  Are you simply having some "fun?"

I know you probably don't care, but maybe you do, I need you to know that helping people is part of my life rhythm.  If you needed help, you could have shown up and told me your story.  My family and I would have done what we could.  There's a bit of sadness here, because I think that people have turned so inward, we've stopped asking each other for help.  Help is still part of my deal.

However, if you are trying out my identity, the sassy girl in me has some advice for you to do it right, so listen up:

  • You'll need a coffee pot.  Buy your coffee in bulk.  Use almond milk creamer, caramel flavored.  That's how we like it.
  • You dance in the kitchen with your sons.  Usually to Bryan Adams or some obscure pop song from the 80s.  
  • You love carbs.  But you are trying to eat more veggies and lean protein.  Tonight you are having fish and veggies for dinner.  
  • You aren't very tidy.  But it bothers you when things are dirty and need to be cleaned.  
  • You are rooted in faith.  Which is why helping is part of your life's rhythm.  The Bible is pretty clear about that one.  
  • 2 words:  Elastic.Skirts.  
  • You'll need a book stack.  A big one.
  • You'll need a tribe.  Of people.  Quarky, Sassy, Sweet, we love them all.
  • You don't fold the socks.  The kids can do that.
  • Running shoes.  Get some and use them almost daily.  

I can't quite wish you the best or luck yet, but I forgive you.  (But I'll be tuned in to all of it...the mail, our accounts, all of it.)



  1. So sorry to hear this happened. Fortunately, you seem to have caught it early and by writing this, have started to heal.

  2. I am so sorry this happened to you! I always worry about this happening. I'm so glad you caught it quickly!!

  3. What a start to your weekend. This experience is awful to have to go through, but I kind of like your humor with the list at the end - especially the book stack and the tribe. We had our card used once before and it is not fun. Hope this is the end to it! Enjoy your Sunday!

  4. Sorry it happened, glad you caught it, and love that sassy retort! They are looking, searching always, and I must say I'm not sure they "want", but are real crooks scamming all they can.

  5. What a positive attitude! I hope you have been able to stop all of this - so scary.

  6. I love how you turned your misfortune into a great post. My daughters work email just got hacked and it turned her life inside out. You are gracious in your forgiveness - and sense of humor!

  7. It is terrifying when this happens. You are a strong woman with a clear head. Good work!

  8. If anything you have created a fun post for what I am sure is a! I'd like to say you made me chuckle but it's not really a laughing matter. So sorry you're going through this.

  9. Must have been the day because our someone used a credit card with our number on Friday and charged $500!!!! I feel the same way you do, just ask for help because help will be given. Thanks for this post! I hope everything works out for you.

  10. Yikes - so sorry you had to deal with this; but this slice was clever and funny and kept me reading to the end. I hope everything works out okay!

  11. I hope you stopped this thief in his tracks and he can't do too much damage. I loved your response and positivity despite the setback and scary situation.